Lore du Jour ~ Nautical nonsense

Photo by John K ~ Maine light

A serial writer’s notebook ~ from the pen behind Lore of the Underlings, an episodic epic…

Here’s something fishy from the Lore. A passage more fitting for SpongeBob SquarePants!

Nautical nonsense to be sure. Ready for a Poseidon adventure? A little game of Name that Neptune?

Let’s dive right in…

He paused, standing taller, straight as a rod, and cast his gaze across the courtyard.

“No one escapes this magistrate. By hook or by crook I’ll catch each one. It’s time for a fishing expedition.”

Ho-man reeled in the shoddy exhibit and stood up. He took it and stepped aside.

Treygyn looked on, craning his neck, to see what this shoe business was about. “Holy mackerel!” he gawked. It was large as a barge, an oafish loafer, and more of a toe boat than moccasin. Worn weathered leather. Frayed broken laces. Nothing that he’d be caught dead in. He eyed it like a foreign object.

Then he did a double take. “Slymie…” He cussed something under his breath.

Fyryx charged him like a lone shark. The predator brother smelled blood in the water.

“What was that, small fry?”

The shrimp clammed up.

Ahoy, Mateys! Sea you soon…

[Photo: Portland Head Light – Cape Elizabeth, Maine, USA]

~~~ The Lore is available in paperback, ebook, and audio formats ~~~

Lore du Jour ~ Mutiny!

Photo by John K ~ Mutiny!

A serial writer’s notebook ~ from the pen behind Lore of the Underlings, an episodic epic…

This week’s sample of upcoming Lore features some pun fun based on the classic Humphrey Bogart film The Caine Mutiny.

Of course on the Lore‘s island of Syland, those famous strawberries turn into syberries. Hope you enjoy them just the same!

The clerk took hold of Exhibit A, the cane, and stuck it in the floor, not far from where Treygyn was hung out to dry. A droopy sack was attached at the top. He poked it. He peered inside.

“It’s empty.”

Bylo was beside himself. “Impossible!” the big boor blubbered. “My men found that bag by the quagmire, on the fen way to Blue Bayou. Hidden in the reeds and milkweed. It was full of sandwiches — tree nut butter and syberries.”

“Ah, but the syberries,” Freebird teased, with a razz from his crow’s nest on Ho-man’s head. “Awk! It tastes like mutiny to me.”

The Finder wheeled to confront his crew.

“Sorry Bylo.”

“We was hungry.”

“And them sammies was delishes.”

All their excuses fell on deaf ears, in fact steam rose from both of Bylo’s.

But judge Fyryx had heard enough. “You can conduct your court martial later. Exhibit B is what interests me…”

Speaking of classic films, I left out the part with the “citizen’s cane“. Hmmm. Maybe I’ll still slip in Rosebud somewhere…

[Photo: Mystic Seaport – Mystic, Connecticut, USA]

~~~ The Lore is available in paperback, ebook, and audio formats ~~~

Lore du Jour ~ Mole hills

Photo by John K ~ Mole hills

A serial writer’s notebook ~ from the pen behind Lore of the Underlings, an episodic epic…

Last week I was writing a chase scene, a trek across many kinds of terrain, and initially threw a mountain in. Only then I remembered that didn’t fit the geology of this land I’d envisioned.

So I did the logical thing. I turned that mountain into a mole hill. Literally.

I think they call that flipping the script.

Anyway, here’s the result. Happy writing!

“The chase went on from starfall to dawn and westbound, each step into wilder terrain. Down through the Dim Dale, over the Mole Hills, crossing the haunted Fallow Fields. Then into the dammed Mallow Marshes he led them, right to the edge of the Siren’s Mire — Syland’s cesspool and mother of swamps. That’s where they cornered him in the muck. A dead duck stuck in it up to the neck.”

[Photo: Acadia National Park – Bar Harbor, Maine, USA]

~~~ The Lore is available in paperback, ebook, and audio formats ~~~

Lore du Jour ~ The twilight zone

Photo by John K ~ Twilight zone

A serial writer’s notebook ~ from the pen behind Lore of the Underlings, an episodic epic…

Remember those classic sci-fi shows from the early decades of television? The Twilight Zone. The Outer Limits. Filmed in glorious black and white.

But they’d be brilliant in any era.

Well, this week’s new writing of the Lore includes totally gratuitous references to these cultural icons (as well as a few others). It’s just how I roll. Hope you enjoy them!

The bounty hunter Bylo Hamyx is telling a tale of tracking his prey (in the upcoming Episode 8):

“Early this very morn it was, on the first full day downhill from Mid Summer’s peak, and just hours after the strangers’ arrival. Our snoop dogs were quick to pick up the scent of something loose in the Westie Woods. They sniffed and barked and licked their chops. They howled like wolves at the setting moon. My own sweet sweat hogs smelled it too — the unmistakable odor of folk blood fouling the night air of No Folks Land. Some fool was afoot at the Keep’s outer limits, aiming to enter the twilight zone…”

It’s only a matter of time until poor Bylo gets Lost in Space in The Time Tunnel!

[Photo: Montebello, Quebec, Canada]

~~~ The Lore is available in paperback, ebook, and audio formats ~~~

Lore du Jour ~ Painful expressions

Photo by John K ~ The point

A serial writer’s notebook ~ from the pen behind Lore of the Underlings, an episodic epic…

Ever notice that the English language is full of painful expressions and potentially injurious idioms? It’s a little troubling really, but also great fodder for a pun-ishing epic like the Lore!

Here’s a quick list right off the top of my head. I didn’t need to rack my brain or tear my hair out (ouch!):

  • Pick your brain
  • Prick up your ears
  • Pay through the nose
  • Get your nose out of joint
  • Keep your eyes peeled
  • Give your eye teeth
  • Bite your tongue
  • Be tongue-tied
  • Cat got your tongue
  • Eat crow (pairs well with a fine whine)
  • Eat your own words (especially in hardcover)
  • Put your foot in your mouth
  • Drown your sorrows
  • Jump down your throat
  • Have a frog in your throat
  • Stick your neck out
  • Be a pain in the neck
  • Weight on your shoulders
  • Monkey on your back
  • Stab you in the back
  • Bend over backwards
  • Twist your arm
  • Have butterflies in your stomach (if you’re ticklish)
  • Hit you in the gut
  • Tear at your heart
  • Break your heart
  • Break a leg
  • Shoot yourself in the foot
  • Be hoisted on your own petard
  • Run into a brick wall
  • Sit on pins and needles
  • Hit a raw nerve
  • Have ants in your pants
  • Or a bee in your bonnet

Get the point? I’m just scratching the surface.

My friends and I have long dreamed of publishing an illustrated coffee-table book. Maybe someday… But for now I’ll keep my nose to the grindstone writing the Lore.

Yow!

[Photo: View of the Ottawa River and Gatineau, Quebec, Canada]

~~~ The Lore is available in paperback, ebook, and audio formats ~~~